back in the saddle
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| my city is still breathing back in the saddle |
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Tuesday, September 30, 2003 so as many of you may or may not know, I serve tables/tend bar to pay my rent and what not. I come up with these brilliant lines from time to time that make my coworkers crack up when I tell them that I say things like this to tables. I was told tonight I should write a book about them, kinda a "chicken soup for the server's soul" except more entitled "another round for the server's soul" or something lame like that. although I am not preparing to write a book, I feel I should at least write them down somewhere so here goes (I hope you find them as amusing as we do) 1) so I once had this table of young, fairly attractive men, about my age. they had pizza. they didn't finish it so I went and packed it up for them. I put it down on the table and look at the one and say "look, I cooked you breakfast". Now in all honesty I meant nothing by this except that I had just provided him with something he could eat for breakfast. obviously he didn't take it this way, and right after I said it, he gave me the wierdest look.. damn was it funny.. 2) one day, a few months after the second star wars prequel came out I was serving some beer. Our glass chiller was working on overdrive and there were many glasses that had a thin layer of ice on the bottom. we were also out of coasters. so I put a pint down on this table in front of this guy and it slowly starts sliding around the table. I put down the second pint and the same thing happens. so I go "all right obi wan, enough with the jedi mind tricks" .. and think "damn am I a geek".. lucky for me the two guys burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing I ever said.. 3) a few weeks ago I was moderately busy and it was one of those nights were things just weren't flowing well. One of my tables says "wow kim you look like you're really in the weeds tonight" my response "actually I think I'm just running on a pentium one tonight".. they thought I was quite the geek after this one, funny thing is I really don't know that much about computers... 4) there's quite a few older, ahem, gentlemen who come into my work and who I find quite, umm, creepy. so just tonight this I was checking on a table and the woman's dining companion was in the washroom. so I'm all chatting with her, I finish, I turn around and he's standing right behind me. so I kinda jump cuz I didn't realise he was there. so he's all "sorry for creeping up on you" my response "creeping up's all right, it's creeping out I worry about. it's all about the preposition".. I don't know if he got it. Anyhow, they're all had to be there, or maybe you just have to work with me things but I hope they were at least mildly amusing... I could bore you with more, but I won't.. maybe later.. posted by kim | 1:47 a.m.|
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